Self-awareness is about being able to understand why you are thinking and feeling and why you behave the way that you do. It’s about understanding why you react to things, what your habits are and what motivates you.

We tend to see our identity through our place in society, our family and friends, the needs and wants of our body, and the emotional and thoughtful expressions of our mind.

Benefits of Self-Awareness

Practising self-awareness is about learning to better understand why you feel what you feel and why you behave in a particular way.

Having this awareness gives you the opportunity and freedom to change things about yourself, enabling you to create a life that you want.

It’s practically impossible to change and become self-accepting if you are unsure of who you are. Having the clarity of this and what you want can be empowering, giving you the confidence to make changes. 

Practical Methods to Enhance Self-Awareness

The Johari Window can be used to look at yourself from many angles as it shows four basic forms of the Self (the Known, Hidden, Blind, and Unknown Self). 

You may find it as quite a informative tool to help you discover who you are. 

Practice Mindfulness

Practising both mindfulness and self-awareness can bring about personal growth and self-awareness. By being mindful, we develop the ability to focus on the present moment without judgment or criticism.

This helps us become more aware of our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. On the other hand, self-awareness allows us to have a deeper understanding of ourselves – our strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs.

These practices complement each other and can lead to greater self-discovery and a clearer understanding of who we are.

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Counselling is a great tool to use for developing your self-awareness, but here are some pointers to get you started.  

Understanding why and how you react to triggering events.  

How do you react to things that trigger you?  

Like, going into a shop that is packed full of people, or feeling like someone if watching you in a public space.  

Do you feel anxious? Judged? Scared?  

Do you think your thoughts and feelings are realistic, or do you ‘know’ that logically you don’t need to feel that way but you still do?  

These are signs of a lack of self-awareness, which is when you don’t understand why you feel the way that you do. You can combat this by thinking about the reasons why you are triggered by certain events and by exploring any feelings that come up for you.  

Feeling like you are lost or don’t know who you are. 

There are so many labels out there that it can be hard to know where we fit in.  

Am I a housewife, mum, worker, unemployed, a mess, successful, hopeless?  

Am I funny, grumpy, angry, happy?  

How do people see me? How do I see me and who do I want to be? 

A lack of self-identity can send you down so many wrong paths in life. And yet finding out who you want to be can be hard to work out. Have a think about what you like wearing, what name you like to use, what activities give you joy and what interests you.  

You don’t understand what you are feeling? 

Do you get angry or upset but you don’t know why?  

Have you ever been angry about a trivial thing and then realised later on that your anger was excessive?  

Do you struggle to explain why you are upset and sad? 

A lot of people are like this at times, including myself, and it’s linked to our own level of self-awareness.  

It’s good to sometimes sit with your feelings, when safe to do so, and try and listen to your mind.  

Are you thinking angry thoughts? Are you hating on yourself?  

Are you feeling loved or alone in this moment?  

The more understanding you gain will grow your self-awareness and in turn, your understanding of your emotions. You can read more about understanding you feelings in my blog post here.

It’s important to know that no matter what level our self-awareness is at, we all have the ability to grow. It can be hard to have honest conversations with yourself at times so if you are on a journey of self-development, please remember to be kind to yourselves and seek support when you feel you need it.  

The post How to Increase Your Self-Awareness – Part 1 appeared first on Friendly Therapist | Jo Thomas Counselling.

• Strong feelings of being worthless. 

• Feeling hopeless and like no one can help.  

• Angry about anything and/or everything. 

• Lack of energy to do anything. 

• A big change in your weight because of your appetite. 

• Abusing yourself. 

• Struggle to concentrate, make decisions, or remember things. 

• No interest in life because there’s no joy or pleasure anymore.  

• Can’t sleep or sleeping too much. 

How to get help if you’re feeling depressed 

It really can feel so lonely and hopeless when you are depressed but there are some things you can do to help yourself. 

• Reach out to trusted friends and family. 

• Exercise and eat healthily.  

• Meditate 

• Get closer to nature, go for walks and be close to the water. 

• Speak to your doctor.  

• Get in touch with a counsellor – I can help you to understand where your feelings stem from and we can work through them so that they don’t hold you back any more. It’s a scary step to take, but it’s a step in the right direction that will help you take control of your depression in a healthy way. Honestly, please feel free to drop me an email or call me if you want to find out more. 

If you are feeling suicidal and need immediate support, please contact the Samaritans anytime on 116 123.  

The post How do you know if you are depressed or just feeling low?   appeared first on Friendly Therapist | Jo Thomas Counselling.

What is it?

It is a visual guide which helps to show how emotions are linked to each other and how they can lead onto others. For example, you are feeling scared of a particular situation because it is making you feel worried and anxious. Processing what your worries are will help to relieve the fear you have.

How does it work?

The first step with using the Wheel of Emotions is to identify the emotion closest to how you are feeling. The emotions vary with intensity starting with the centre ones being the most extreme going outwards to the mildest forms.

When you have identified an emotion, you can try to work out what’s triggering it. Sometimes this is quite obvious but other times it can be very complicated. You may notice that some emotions you identify can lead on to other emotions. For example, you could feel supported by a close friend which makes you feel relieved and peaceful, however this also triggers a trust issue making you feel on edge and nervous.

Once you begin to identify your emotions and triggers, you can use this awareness to help you find ways to cope and work through them.

The post How to Understand Your Feelings? appeared first on Friendly Therapist | Jo Thomas Counselling.

You can experience all sorts of emotions like sadness, loneliness, disbelief or anger… And it’s OK to feel whatever it is you’re feeling! You’ve been through a traumatic time and you’re left to pick up the pieces, so don’t be too hard on yourself. 

The point of this post is to show that the pain you’re is part of a journey that everyone goes through and that it will come to an end. I’m not saying you’ll stop missing them or loving them, but you can live a happy life again. 

There are five stages of grief when coping with death. You can go forwards and backwards through the stages and linger or move quickly through them. It’s different for everyone but in general, we all experience the following in some shape or form. 

Denial 

This stage hits you straight away and it can last from a few moments to days, weeks or even years. Denial is a way of coping with the shock of losing a loved one by avoiding the pain. You may feel like you can’t believe this has happened but it’s important to know that this is a natural reaction. It’s your minds way of managing your shock so that you can process what’s going on. As you start to admit that this death has really happened, you’ll begin the healing process. 

Bargaining 

I see this stage as the bridge from denial to anger and you may go back and forth across it many times. You’ll think of different things that could have been done to stop the death from happening, or things that you can do now to bring that person back to life. For me, when my dad died I used to imagine him striding through the front door shouting ‘surprise!’ and it had all been a bad joke. Bargaining is a way for your mind to adjust to the reality of what’s happened. As time passed, I began to accept that my dad dying wasn’t him playing a joke on me. 

Anger 

Anger will come when you begin questioning what’s happened and start looking for the reasons why. Some anger is obvious, like being angry at the health system for failing your loved one for example, but sometimes it can seem irrational, like blaming a person who died of natural causes for leaving you. You may find that some anger gets buried as you dismiss it or you have no way to express it, which can hold you back from going through the grieving process. This is a good time to consider counselling as a way to safely express your feelings without causing more hurt to others. 

Depression 

This is the most obvious stage in this process as it’s the most visible. Reality has finally sunk in and the denial you had experienced is no longer shielding you from the sadness you now feel. Depression effects people in different ways but you may feel hopeless, lonely, lack motivation, guilt, struggle with sleep or have no appetite. You may be able to work through these feelings and find that things improve over time, but if they don’t then it’s an important time to talk to a counsellor. There is no shame in reaching out for help, that’s what I’m here for! 

Acceptance 

As you begin to accept the reality of your loss by working through the above stages, you will find that the depression begins to lift, and life becomes better. You will no longer feel anger about what happened or guilt for moving on. It doesn’t mean that you don’t miss or love them any more, just that you have accepted your new life without them. 

You may find that you can switch between any of these stages at any time as you work through your feelings, and this is completely normal and all part of your journey. The old saying ‘time is a great healer’ is true when it comes to grieving, and the pain does get easier.

I feel that you learn to live with the loss rather than it goes away though, as you will never stop loving them.

If this is something that you want help with then please get in touch. 

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